Angels

In the last 8 months, so much has changed in my life and sometimes it was really overwhelming. I have realized in the time I've been married, I have seemed to lost my sense of self, who I am and have blended into a person that I never intended on being. However, after many prayers, and many priesthood blessings given, I have seemed to find my way back on the path to find out who I am and what my purpose is on this earth.

I have a firm belief that we are all born with a eternal destiny, and that each day, each hour, each minute and each second of our lives do matter. Where ever you are at in this present state of life is for a reason, only God really knows. Whether or not you believe in God and in his son Jesus Christ, or whether or not you believe in any religion at all, does not change the fact that you are loved by a divine being who is apart of every detail of your life. And it does not change that God and his son exist.

Sometimes things happen that are out of our control and are not what we hoped would happen. Sometimes we gain weight, lose our job, are not able to have a family, lose our homes, lose our children and etc. There are so many things that ARE not fun about living.

But despite everything that I just listed, think back on a time in your life where something terrible occurred. Guess what, I'm sure even though it was hard, it made you stronger. Terrible events that happen to us really do strengthen us, and we are NEVER left alone during those times.

As I have been going through my quote "terrible event" in the form of infertility, there have been so many angels that have helped me through the tough times, even though I was unable and unwilling to see it. I had become so bitter and so angry that it was happening to me, that I refused to see their constant love and care for me. But it didn't change the fact that they were and still are there.

Sometimes angels do not come in the forms that we most recognize with them because of media and paintings. Angels can be in the form of family, friends and neighbors. Sometimes they are random people that you meet for a brief moment in time. And sometimes if you are really lucky, you will actually meet a real angel.

I'd like to share a very personal experience that happened to me that I just recently realized was from a loving God to his bitter, angry daughter to let her know that she was loved by him.

In February 2014, I started getting horrible pains in my lower abdomen and was bleeding quite severely. My boss at the time was very concerned, and after  ibuprofen would not take away my pain, she suggested that I go to the ER. So I called Travis and I drove to his new job and he told me he would like to have a doctor at the free family clinic check me out before we went to the ER. I agreed with him and went to see the doctor at the clinic. Because I was in so much pain, and with all the bleeding that I was experiencing, she told me to go to the University of Utah ER after they had taken my blood to do some lab tests. She stated that she would let them know I was on my way and that they would be prepared for me. The reason she could do this because they were apart of the University of Utah medical network.

When we got to the University ER, of course we had to wait for a bit. ANYONE that has been to the ER knows unless it's a serious issue, there is a waiting time. So as I sat there in agony, Travis had his arm around me unsure of how to comfort me.

After a while they were able to admit me into the ER and I was given a nice room. We were in the room for hours while they were running my blood tests and still they had not given me ANYTHING for the pain. Granted it was a Friday, and they were busy, but I was so angry that no one was helping relieve me of the pain.

The hospital staff were not very helpful and I was growing inpatient and frustrated when a nurse came in and informed Travis and I that the doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound done to see if there was any ovarian cysts that could be the cause of my pain.

It was another hour before anyone showed up. Travis was so worried about me, He had in the hours that I had been there, asked several of the nurses to give me something to relieve my pain. Yet there were none who came.

Then out of nowhere, when we we least expecting it, a beautiful young woman with long brown hair and a sweet disposition and a angelic smile greeted us with a wheelchair.

"I am a volunteer here at the hospital tonight and I have come to take you to your ultrasound." she said politely.

She helped me out of the bed, and helped me into the wheelchair and she beckoned Travis to follow us. While she was taking us to the site where I would have the ultrasound, she asked us all sorts of questions that I don't remember anymore, but while I was talking with her, I couldn't feel my pain. I know that sounds weird, however it was like the pain was just a annoying background noise while I was talking with this lovely girl. She made me forget about what was going on at the time and made me smile.

When we got to the room she said that she would stay until my ultrasound was done and then she would take me back.

It was only about 30 minutes for the ultrasound, and after everything was done she took us back to my room. I do remember on the way back that she said she loved music and I told her that I loved it too. I can't really remember much other than how she made Travis and I feel, comfort, loved and relieved. When we got back to the room, and I had been put back on my hospital bed, she told us it was her pleasure meeting us and that if we needed anything to let her know, that she would be there. At that time Travis asked her if I could get some relief for my pain, and she told him that she would try to see that it got done. And with a smile and a wave, she was gone.

 We never saw her again. I can't remember her name, but after meeting with the 'actual' volunteer that was suppose to help me, Travis and I both knew in our hearts that she was sent from above.

I can't explain how and why it happened to us that night. I do not have those answers. All I know is that a divine power, beyond anything you or I can imagine, showed his unconditional love for me that night.

So please never forget that YOU do matter. You are loved. You are a child of a divine destiny with a purpose on this earth that you will need to find out during your life.

Please know that you are in my prayers and thoughts. But most of all, know that YOU are not alone. If I could, I would reach through this computer screen to give you the hug and comfort that you need with WHATEVER you are going through at this time in your life. Unfortunately, I can only use words on a screen that you are reading right now.

"And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
-John Chapter 14 verses 16-18.

Know that you are loved and that I am praying for you!

Please be STRONG!

Love,

Natalie