A Thousand Years Part Two

The clouds are grey outside. The world is cold, everything is frozen in a world of ice and snow. Icicles hang from the roof and from the plants in the front yard. The world is silent. No one is outside. My heart is heavy as I write. My heart feels frozen, much like the world outside. It feels covered in a thick layer of ice that is impossible to penetrate. All the years of not being able to have a child has left me cold and empty. I am only a shell of a person, because I am afraid to feel the pain,much too scared to let His love heal my broken heart. I have been fading away, much like the plants outside. My spirit is broken and almost lifeless. Two nights ago, I had a late night conversation with a friend and that will not leave my mind. What they said, I have heard before, many many times. But this time I did not push it from my mind. And before I even realize what I'm doing, I find myself on my knees pleading to Him. I ask him for strength, for peace and most of all to feel His love. The warm feeling that usually happens does not come immediately  In fact it doesn't come at all. Instead I feel a peace fall like a blanket over me.

Then before I know it, I'm noticing what I do have. And he is in the picture right next to me. In the picture he is smiling up at me, and I realize that I have him. 

I will ALWAYS have him. We have made sacred covenants with each other, that make it so that if we live the way we are suppose to, we will have each other through ALL eternity.

Warmth has finally started to enter into my ice cold heart. And the beginnings of spring are happening inside of me. I have finally come to peace knowing that the time will come when I will be a mother. And it all up to HIM. He knows when the time is best for Travis and I to have children.

A scripture that I love, is found in 1 Nephi 11:17 "...I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things..."

I don't know why Travis and I are going through what we are going through right now. But what I do know with all my heart is that my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ love me. And they will ALWAYS be here for me, even though sometimes I forget that they are there. 

And so I have decided to move on with my life. No more are the days where I will be worrying over "that" time of the month, and letting it affect my healing heart.

And now, this song (A Thousand Years) has a new meaning for me.

This song is about Travis's and my journey to our forever.

I waited my ENTIRE life to find him, and now that I have him next to me, I need to enjoy the tender moments that we have alone together. 

He is my rock, and is ALWAYS there for me. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful eternal companion...

Part Two : A Thousand Years

The day we met
frozen, I held my breath
right from the start
knew that I found a home
for my heart,
Beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

Time stands still
beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

One step closer

I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid,
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

Please never forget that this is the time "For men to prepare to meet God." I just pray that when I see him again, that I will KNOW Him, and that he will be able to call me friend, that he will wipe the tears away from my eyes and hold me in his arms as he says: "Well done."

...That is my hope, and my dream...

Thanks for reading.

Natalie