Okay, so this is not a blog post about the rest of the story of how Travis and I met. I have been way busy as of late and once I get home, I had forgotten to write about it. I probably will write the rest of the story on the blog later tonight while Travis and I are watching Lost...(yes we are addicted to Lost like we are addicted to Once Upon a Time). But that's not the reason why I wrote this blog post...
As I begin my weight loss journey, I have been finding that certain emotions arise as I lose more weight. And with those emotions comes memories, whether they are good or bad. All this brings me to a place where I keep remembering how it used to be, in the past, and then I start doubting the future. Part of the process to forgive myself and others for past wrongs and to live fully and better in the present. I can never can rewrite the past, it is already written. But this moment, this moment in time is when I can change things. It's only in this moment where I can make decisions that will affect my future. It's in this moment that I can choose to release hateful feelings toward those who have made the decision to hurt me or my family in any way. It's in this moment that I can choose to change my life.
And I choose to be forgiving. I choose to love. And I choose to live my life the way that my Savior would want me to live, to be like he is, forgiving, loving, and understanding. He is the ONLY way. And as I start to change and become more like him, I find my life to take turns for the better. I find my marriage growing stronger. And I find myself being able to change my life, and my body. For the first time, I have started to actually like myself (not in a vain way) and have an appreciation for what I bring to this world.
We all are unique and different for a reason. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same. So I am grateful that at this time, as a individual, I have the ability to create my life into a beautiful tapestry, one that I will not see until I complete my life on this earth. One in which weaves happiness, as well as pain, but the two combined create a beautiful picture that only I can create.
Looking to the past, living in the past, is no way to live. But living in the present, making sure that you learn how to forgive yourself for things done in the past is the only way to live. And during this process I have had to refocus my life to this moment where I can make decisions to change my future. It is not always easy, but it is so worth it.
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